now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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