Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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