The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize