So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
