Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize