Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
