Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
