My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
