I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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