Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
