It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
