So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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