I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
