he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
