So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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