She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize