I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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