You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
