so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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