Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
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