We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
