he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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