Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
