I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
