i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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