He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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