You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
