i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
