She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
