A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
