she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Randomize