Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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