i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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