She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
