so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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