things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
