I hate all girls vehemently.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Redeem this text for a blowjob
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
