Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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