i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
