Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
