'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i love accidental penises.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
