i just google imaged poop.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
