and she was petting her beer can
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
