I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
