Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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