and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
