:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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