is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
