Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
