$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
