so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize