I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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