thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
