sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
PANTIES FOUND
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