highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
All I want is dick and wine.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize