The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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