I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
