i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Randomize
