Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
