I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
